Overall, quite a succinct and clear argument. You juxtapose technical specifications and analyze them to make a recommendation. In many ways, this is an analytical technical report (a common technical communication genre), so your structure works. I'd like you to consider restructuring this some to make ideas clearer and to better develop your argument.
Introduce the question at hand with some background information about what gamers typically want. You did that with your "What makes a good gaming system?" But what about also defining technical terms. DRM, DDR4 and DDR5, HDMI, etc. Consider a glossary. Also, why not talk a bit about the companies (Sony and Microsoft) and also the market a bit (like you did).
Methods Talk to us about how you gathered your information and data. Where did you get it, who did you talk to, etc.
Results Report with a generic objective tone what you found from your research.
Analysis Discuss what this means for gamers and their expectations. What it means about the companies, what it means about the markets.
Discussion/Conclusion Make your verdict yes, but sum it all up using the results/analysis points you covered.
This format (IMRAD) would you give you more substance to your argument (perhaps give you reasons to find more sources and information) and it would also appear more organized and just more fleshed out and less skinny and malnutrition-ed.
I suggest you also include more graphics, more interesting presentations of numerical data (your pie-chart was quite nice, for example so what about the technical comparisons). Why the generic slide design? I've seen that design many many times. Do something creative. I think you can do that.
So while you have much of this information already, expand on it and rearrange it to make it more complete, professional, and clear. Also, your verdict slide has some visual communication problems (the black written text is hard to see on the black PS4). Also on that slide, do you mean PS3 or PS4?
Overall, I think you can turn this into a visually engaging technical report that can serve consumer needs quite nicely.
Overall, quite a succinct and clear argument. You juxtapose technical specifications and analyze them to make a recommendation. In many ways, this is an analytical technical report (a common technical communication genre), so your structure works. I'd like you to consider restructuring this some to make ideas clearer and to better develop your argument.
ReplyDeleteIntroduce the question at hand with some background information about what gamers typically want. You did that with your "What makes a good gaming system?" But what about also defining technical terms. DRM, DDR4 and DDR5, HDMI, etc. Consider a glossary. Also, why not talk a bit about the companies (Sony and Microsoft) and also the market a bit (like you did).
Methods
Talk to us about how you gathered your information and data. Where did you get it, who did you talk to, etc.
Results
Report with a generic objective tone what you found from your research.
Analysis
Discuss what this means for gamers and their expectations. What it means about the companies, what it means about the markets.
Discussion/Conclusion
Make your verdict yes, but sum it all up using the results/analysis points you covered.
This format (IMRAD) would you give you more substance to your argument (perhaps give you reasons to find more sources and information) and it would also appear more organized and just more fleshed out and less skinny and malnutrition-ed.
I suggest you also include more graphics, more interesting presentations of numerical data (your pie-chart was quite nice, for example so what about the technical comparisons). Why the generic slide design? I've seen that design many many times. Do something creative. I think you can do that.
So while you have much of this information already, expand on it and rearrange it to make it more complete, professional, and clear. Also, your verdict slide has some visual communication problems (the black written text is hard to see on the black PS4). Also on that slide, do you mean PS3 or PS4?
Overall, I think you can turn this into a visually engaging technical report that can serve consumer needs quite nicely.